red is the colour

2005-08-18T23:03:00.000-07:00

in her eyes were words,

in her words were magic,

i got lost in her magic,

in a dazzle.

i looked at her,

she looked at me,

and there came the problem,

she became my destiny,

she became my goal.

my heart never felt like this before,

but whoever did this gave me a beautiful dream,

my eyes,

are only fixed upon her,

without asking her,

i jus made her mine.

now dying is easier than living,

i've lost myself completely.

2005-08-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

my heart wonders,

if u are as pretty as a blossom,

or like the smooth flow of the streams,

or to find u in one sweet corner of my dreams.

my heart sways gently,

ever so slowly,

why it sways,

i do not know.

this is so true

2005-08-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

How You Live Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.

You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

2005-08-02T19:17:00.000-07:00

why did you break my heart,

why did i fall in love,

why did you go away, away,away..

why did i give you my heart,

when you had to break it in the end,

why did you be with me,

when you had to turn your back on me this way.

my condition

2005-08-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

the girl i love,

has broken my heart.

yes, this is the consequence of love,

she has left me shattered.

when a glass breaks,

everyone hears it,

but when my heart breaks,

no one cares.

i'm going crazy beacause of her love,

i live because her memories,

i die because of her love,

she does not care,

what condition i'm in,

she's too cruel to care,

no matter how much i try to explain to her,

she wont bother to listen.

her ways are so cruel,

she has left me shattered.

like she has left my nights sleepless,

should i do the same?

should i pray that she will suffer in someone's love too?

she has made me suffer,

am i suppose to do the same?

after setting my life on fire,

she lives in peace.

all the time,

the only person i think of,

has left me with nothing,

yes this is the consequence of love,

i'll just have to live with it.

31 july

2005-07-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

how do i live without you,

i do not know.

i cant put my heart to anything,

without you around.

how do i tell you,

what life would be without you.

like a punishment,

or a curse.

i have decided that,

i do not want to live without you.

but i haf to.

2nd july

2005-07-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

Your dating personality profile:
You matched the following traits:
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile:
You match with women who have following traits:
Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape.

Your Top Ten Traits, Ranked
1. Athletic
2. Practical
3. Big-Hearted
4. Liberal
5. Religious
6. Traditional
7. Shy
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Adventurous
10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits, Ranked
1. Religious
2. Traditional
3. Athletic
4. Practical
5. Big-Hearted
6. Intellectual
7. Romantic
8. Shy
9. Adventurous
10. Wealthy/Ambitious

2005-06-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. abhishek
2. abhi
3. Kermit?
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. abidas
2. abhishek
3. Kermit?
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes
2. hair
3.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. weight
2. height
3. physique
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. thai
2. Singaporean
3. indian
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. snakes
2. My dad!
3. hurting others
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. GOD FAMILY FRENS
2. FOOD
3. sleep
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY NON-ESSENTIAL FOR LIFE ESSENTIALS:
1. movies
2. computer
3. HPTHREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
(but not only)1. tee
2. shorts
3. glasses
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Westlife(is it a sin to like boy-bands?)
2. eminem
3. THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. My love
2. The reason
3. Lose yourself
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. God
2. lotsa fun! talking comfortably abt personal stuff and being open
3. trust, and lotsa love.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE :
1. i love my family
2. i love watching movies
3. i have many friends
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. height ( like 1.65)
2. figure (36-24-36)
3. smile
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Watching movies
2. Listening to my princess
3. Serving others
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. see my princess
2. see my cousins
3. Watch rocky!
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. pilot
2. doctor
3. lawyer
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. australia
2. switzerland
3. Manchester(jus to watch man u live in action)
THREE KID’S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. dylan
2. Abhishek(haha)
3.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. get married
2. Serve my parents
3. Be rich!
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. By birth
2. I love playing soccer
3. I work out(ok well sometimes)
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. No way(I hope)
2. No way(I hope)
3. No way(I hope)
THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Angelina jolie
2. Nicole kidman(well last time)
3. Natalie portman(really depends on her dressing)T
HREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Someone’s that alr taken it
2. amy
3. alice

30 MAY 2005

2005-05-30T20:53:00.000-07:00

Name 20 friends without looking at the questions and answer the questions with regard to your friend of the corresponding number.
1. adriel
2. terry
3. lincoln
4. joshua
5. andris
6. adam
7. fang ting
8. joyce
9. robyn
10. alaric
11. ryan
12. edward
13. frans
14. nicholas
15. jeremy
16. alice
17. amy
18. richie
19. robin
20. natasha
The questions:
Who is #8 going out with?: Erm. Don kll me.. ME! Sorry peeked at the question before puutin ur name at any number. haha
Is #9 a boy or a girl?: girl.. any doubts?
Would #11 and #2 go out?: nope, never. No no no
How about #18 and #4?: over my dead body.. 18’s my cousin and he’s a GUY,. straight
What grade is #17 in?: grade 9. Thai international school system
When was the last time you talked to #12?: last sat
What is #6's favorite band?: no idea. Sorry adam
Does #1 have any siblings?: yea, 2, baven and sam, spastic ppl. Oops.
Would you ever date #3?: nope.. firstly he’s a guy, and I’m attached
Would you ever date #7?: wat a question….!!!! NO.
Is #16 single?: yes.. my cousin is a little too young for all this.. though she’s onli 2 weeks younger.. still..
What's #15's last name?: fang
What's #5's middle name?: pops?
What's #10's fantasy?: have no idea..
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?: no no no no no way.. stop attacking my cousins..!!!
Tell me a random fact about #11?: he wears specs?
Have you ever had a crush on #16?: how do u have a crush on ur own cousin?
Are #5 & #6 best friends?: nope. Jus frens
Does #7 like #20?: I said, stop attacking my cousin..!!!! NO.
How did you meet #15?: he strangled me on the first day of school… na kidding.. my classmate since sec 1.

8 MAY 2005

2005-05-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

k lets see, haven blogged since 24th april. how long is that??? okay basically been really busy with syf and tests.. we got a silver. was quite happy with that until i found out that jjc and mjc got silver too.. i mean wat??????? thats like.. they played so bad.. oh well its over and yes its not jus abt the award as lance said.. thanks to everyone...

had a physics test on fri.. oh man i screwed up so bad, din read the words " scale drawing" arggg thats like 6 marks dude... anyway after school i went ta watch kingdom of heaven.. wad a cool movie, though it took a slow start but who cares.. i jus love war movies.. of course last samurai is much better but yea, i'll say $9.50 is kinda worth it.. they keep increasing ticket prices nowadays, jus cos they know ppl cant stop watching movies so they take advantage...

yesterday was absolutely fantastic, rocking.. started off by playing soccer in the morning.. quite cool since its been a long while since i kicked a football.. basically the curl's still there but have lost alot of power in the shot.. gotta start playing again.. then in co, we were planning for the concert.. the teacher wanted to stone me cos i suggested " an evening of cheena music" as the title.. okay wadeva.. the prices are like 20 for the middle block and 12 for the sides.. so basically we'll be performing to an empty middle block.. like who's gonna spend $20 on chinese music..

after co went to clark quay for the barbie exhibit.. cant believe i went there and am admitting it.. but really it isn bad.. turned out much better than i thought.. after that had a funny conversation on the bridge in which.. well things were said.. and yea wont say more.. but basically it made me real happy.. how many ppl actually do get this? i walked so much, reminded me of thailand, where u jus walk and walk and get the cheap stuff. but this was diff, it wasn boring, it was fun.. went to ps, raffles, suntec, bras basah.. it was cool.. want to go to these kinda quite places more often with u.. its different from watching movies all the time so it was cool.. had moss burger for the first time in my life.. haha.. nice... then too bad, as u know time flies when you're having fun and it was time to go home.. oh man.. but yesterday really made me happy.. jus wanna say thanks for the wonderful time..

30 APRIL 2005

2005-04-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

this past week has been.. gee i dono what to say.. good and bad.. i mean i'm glad that the co is making progress and all but its really draining all of us out.. onli 3 more days.. must really really do well..

well i've had someconversations.. i wanna say so much to u but cant do it here, and like u say it may complicate things.. gee... i'm too tired to even type....

i'll be there for u,
when the rain starts to pour,
i'll be there for u,
like i've been there before.
i'll be there for u,
cos ur there for me too..

keep saying this and will keep on saying it.. thanks.

24 APRIL 2005

2005-04-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

so many things to do, so little time.. and yet i'm here..

man co next whole week, 38hrs in total, sure gonna die.. leaving ur mouth in the stupid sheng pipe, ew its disgusting.. ah well but i haf no choice, gotta do wad u gotta do.. wish us luck.. 3rd may.. barker alr got their gold now its our turn..

so many nice movies gonna release.. how to watch all? lets see, kingdom of heaven, star wars, madagascar, mr and mrs smith, batman returns, and many many many more.. war of the worlds.. haiya jus watch all la..

co concert in july, they promised us a break.. wad break? gonna screw up all the tests next week.. camelot? watch with who?

anyway yesterday's co was super funny, as usual yang fan and shawn were arguing abt his solo part, cannot control volume etc.. and i was sitting there eating sugar peanuts.. falling more sick.. couldn even open my eyes.. came home 7 slept till 9 had a nice chat till 11 then went back to sleep.. wad a life..

woke up 9am today.. trigo is sooo difficult, i cant do the questions.. i'm 30% normal.. how pathetic is that? i act 20? wat a joke.. and my seduction style is natural.. haha thats true... compatible with ideal lover? hmm, i wonder...heeheee..

it hurts when your loved ones leave you, but it hurts even more when your loved ones create distances from you.. i feel exactly this way..

anyway my cousin is gonna so get pissed off cos i haven posted her gift and her birthday's tomorrow.. with so much co how to do? how?

i get teased by you, you crack jokes, i laugh, you laugh we're both happy and when i need help most u are always there for me.. i hope i'm not irritating you, or disturbing you or.. but thank you very much my princess.. now don ask who..

2005-04-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

How Normal Are You?
You Are 30% Normal(Occasionally Normal)
You sure do march to your own beat...But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at allYou think on a totally different wavelengthAnd it's often a chore to get people to understand you

2005-04-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

What Age Do You Act?
You Are 20 Years Old
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

2005-04-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

What Is Your Seduction Style?
Your Seduction Style: The Natural
You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

20 APRIL 2005

2005-04-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

an empty street,
an empty house,
a hole inside my heart,
i'm all alone,
the rooms are getting smaller,
i wonder how,
i wonder why,
i wonder where they are,
the days we had,
the songs we sang together, oh yea
and o my love,
i'm holding on forever,
reaching for a love that seems so far,
so i say a little prayer,
and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue,
to see you once again, my love.
overseas from coast to coast,
to find the place i love the most,
where the fields are greens,
to see you once again, my love.

this is my favourit favourite favourite song ever.. not gonna write everything but..westlife manz.. feeling in a crappy mood now..bb..

19 APRIL 2005

2005-04-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

hello ppl!! how's life??? cant believe i went for an OCIP meeting.. but actually after going for it, i realised how much i liked these stuff.. u know jus helping others basically, and give them some happiness.. but then cant take the fact that we have to meet very often, and write reports and all that.. cant we jus help.. also wanna go wif frens, but as usual non interested.. donno if me dad will allow too..

woah.. today's chem test.. ew.. lost like 7 marks ready.. ouch.. studied so hard for all the tests and i'm jus passing all of em.. no good at all... somemore some ppl found the test easy.. haiz.. co was stupid.. conductor keeps saying i'm blur, but with a silver sheng u don expect me to be as loud as the black sheng.. plus i'm having a koff.. stupid flies kept flying arnd and tickling.. cant believe i killed one.. thats so evil, arg feel guilty now..

think i'm a loner.. i donno.. hope u liked the postcard!! which u gave but..

17 APRIL 2005

2005-04-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

hey dudes.. take my quiz.. kinda ripped it off robyn.. but jus take la.. joyce better get all right ah..http://www02.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050417080558-870816

16 APRIL 2005

2005-04-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

these few days haf been.. busy.. and stressful.. failed math, not surprised though it was so easy.. jus pass physics, but pissed off cos i lost 8 marks cos i din read 2 stupid words.. need to change my habit of not reading questions properly.. nvm, who cares now, look ahead yea?.. some days i feel like studying and then some days i'm so off.. why? but anyway quite in a good mood today..

yay! ACJC won the waterpolo match.. hahazz.. not surprised.. but then again dance got bronze for syf.. thats like so frustrating cos their suppose to be real good.. and when u haf a co like ours u panic bout whether u can even get a bronze.. next 3 weeks practice will increase, but who cares.. only for a while.. get gold manzz.. ACJC spirit rocks.. they went to admit that they din come in first for cross country.. thats wat u call sportsmanship dudes.. i bet if it was the other way round RJC would have jus kept quiet.. Raffles is a stupid institution.. close it down and build an AC university man.. everyone support the centre for performing arts k..?

anyone interested in camelot? my 2 dear frens are going with their class, and my class is boring, don go for this kinda thing.. maybe i'll jus join joyce or robyn on that day.. unless joshua yee or shuhan u guys wanna go? but i doubt.. hmm.. wassup with him nowadays? i know i haven done anything wrong but he makes me feel like i did.. oh well.. it'll settle..

today was cool.. first co was so slack, we were eating sugar peanuts and slacking.. at the same time disturbing xu hua and shawn.. haha so funny.. competishawn.. then walked in rain to station..cool thing, get hair wet... had a great day, watched guess who.. so funny but yet speaks bout the truth in life.. do wat u think feels right, don care wat others think.. anyway thanks for going out, listening to me and all.. ur great.. "u really r a good person" when i read that i almost cried la.. so touching.. no one ever said that to me.. boy, i'm always portrayed as the idiot in the family.. thanks..

so many things to do, read GP package, do GP essay and summary, study chem and cheena test.. aiyo can die one.. we need a life..

WAR

2005-04-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

guy:

she thinks alot,

but understands little,

her heart says something,

but she does something else,

why cant girls just be like boys?

she loves you too,

but always wants you to start.

she herself is confused,

but she tries to confuse you too.

tells girl you always say:

we're good friends,

but i never saw you in that way

guy:

she says you're different from others,

and uses this to get close to you,

and after a few days,

how different you are doesn't matter to her anymore.

tells girl she always say:

what kind of shirt do you wear?

how have you cut your hair?

why do you drive so fast?

why do you eat so fast?

man, give me a break.

guy:

she comes close to change you,

she sets traps to get rid of you,

in her words,

she traps you,

she makes you laugh at first,

and then makes you cry,

why cant girls just be like boys?

girl:

if you guys are so happy with yourselves,

then why do you come after us?

why do you keep bringing gifts?

tell guy you always say:

you didn't tell me your name?

want to have coffee?

can i drop you home?

when will we meet next?

girl:

we teach you the proper way of living,

we change you from animals to humans,

without me,

you cant live one moment,

thats why girls aren't like boys.

guy:

she reminds you of all the days,

she may forget you,

but she wont forget the dates.

girl:

how can we trust guys,

they change all the time,

now their someone's,

and tomorrow somebody elses.

guy:

to say a yes,

she makes you suffer so much,

while doing all this,

she enjoys the look on your face.

girl:

she is shy,

and hides sometimes,

but once she says yes,

she never turns back.

thats why girls aren't like boys.

and as usual the boy lets the girl win.. sorry cant think of more.. but isn this true.. hehe.. WAR..

10 APRIL 2005

2005-04-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

haiz.. so pissed off with myself.. woke up 11 30 today... no good.. then went ta watch a movie.. so slack... man she even called me to tell me she din bring her hp.. i din catch her second part but nice of her.. haiz.. no one to tok to today.. hehe.. lazy...

thought of something: love is like life, not every step is easy, neither do you find happiness at every step, but if don you give up on life, why do you give up on love?

9 APRIL 2005

2005-04-09T22:31:00.000-07:00

oh dear i jus realise how silly i was, not caring.. i'm dragging one more person in all this mess.. really sorry.. i jus wanna tell all ya ppl not to let anyone know wat my blog is, no one wld want it but yea don tell anyone.. jus keep it with shuhan robyn joshua and joyce.. things r messing up..

u know wat after reading wat u said, i really think i don haf to worry anymore.. i don care wat others think as long as i know my intentions so yea, robyn don worry, we know wat we want so it doesnt matter wat others think yea?

and yea take things slowly, step by step.. i hope i can trust myself.. sorry once again joyce..

9 APRIL 2005

2005-04-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

CO was so slack today.. played games and ate alot. ended early too.. then shuhan and joshua went to the gym.. those mean ppl went to the gym and din tell me.. had no shorts. was in school pants.. nvm had company of xu hua and merylin.. hehe.. after that went out to holland v with her..we were mugging cos she made me a little mad when she was ignoring me and doing her own work nicely.. but a little smiley made everything cool again.. boy wat magic does this girl haf? after that slept awhile and i think things are going great.. but i hope it remains and its obvious we're both worrying that it wont.. well jus haf faith yea?

8 APRIL 2005

2005-04-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

boy oh boy.. wat a week.. started off quite bad, with everyone falling sick.. then being ignored, by dad persistently, and the by u know who, but that was a joke so not counted.. then it went on fine..

but ppl can u all PLEASE stop spreading rumours abt me and robyn.. esp hui hui someone shut her up.. i mean is there onli one way left to describe and guy and a girl? wat happen to humanity? can we jus be friends peascefully? for god's sake she's like a sis.. i like someone else.. get this in ur heads.. I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE..

went to watch movie with her today.. then as usual she'll start suanning me but fun la.. spanglish is a nice movie.. adam sandler rocks as usual.. i haf loadsa fun wif u...

WAR:

guy: she thinks alot,

but understands little,

her heart says something else,

but she speaks something else,

why cant girls,

jus be like boys?

this is war between man and women.. need to think somemore but this is jus a glimpse. hehe

4 APRIL 2005

2005-04-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

pope passed away.. how sad.. for a man who's taught us so much... at least he's in peace now, in a better place.. pray for more such ppl in our lives..

hehe.. new class. not bad though quite quiet.. fang says she's dying in SE1 and wants ta come back.. andris is our new class rep.. congrats.. we made a deal that i'll be her asst. but too bad din pass off. now haf to be stupid treasurer.. steal money.. haha.. boy haf i been broke these few days or wad...

everyone's falling sick.. for someone who's taken a flu jab, i'm still sick o man... wonder who passed it... joyce is sick, andris is.. haiz.. take care everyone... chatting at bv station is good.. always loved doing that and will continue to.. everything of urs is pink manz... cute.. when's the fairy tale finishing? i wanna read... take care my dear..

gosh tests next week.. die..

3 APRIL 2005

2005-04-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

hellooooo all u wonderful ppl.. feelin happy today though i donnno why? man u drew so it oficially ends their title hopes and arsenal is ahead now.. man oh man..

woke up 9 and felt so tired.. doing that after a long time.. actually studies today.. sat for 4 hrs but yet was stoning for most periods..

robyn don worry k.. if u need help we're all here for u..

and joyce joyce joyce.. my dear dear joyce.. pls take care of yourself k.. if u don feel well jus hand up ur CAP stuff and go home.. TAKE CARE... things between us has been good and i hope it always remains.. ur the best.. hehe..

had a thought on obsession.. can u believe that? not putting it up here anytime soon.. boy i'm hyper now..

i'll try my best not to put the ball in ur court, if i do warn me and i'll make sure no pressure goes to u.. u were the best u are the best and u will always remain the best.. hehe.. thanks for wad u said and all.. i hope ur fren liked ur gift?

commit everything to the lord and everything will turn out fine.. gd nite all

2 APRIL 2005

2005-04-02T20:45:00.000-08:00

CO started 9 today.. ended 12 30.. no conductor so as usual retarded cos we had to practice ourselves.. and then shawn tries to be the big boss and orders everyone arnd.. but who cares we let him.. shawn relax k, we appreciate u we were jus joking..

12 30 to 2 was in school aone doing recourceful stuff luckily.. met up with her at 2.. went out had fun and talked bout things.. everything is cleared now i'm a happy boy again and i hope she's happy too.. i wonder why my hands get cold.. but cool i like it.. so thanks shuhan joshua for worrying yea? i'm cool now.. she rocks man... btw i aint talking bout fang ting here, i'm talking bout the wrong number girl... no one gets this who cares.. i went to lib today.. some super huge one in jurong pt. actually quite cool.. me and going lib is jus off la... hehe.. and robyn, i won stop grinning..

1 APRIL 2005

2005-04-01T21:45:00.000-08:00

happy april fool's day? is there such a thing?

haiz.. no time for anything nowadays.. boy too much co.. stayin in SE2.. good thing.. fang ting aint gonna be there but she's trying.. robyn good luck for f math k.. principal is cool.. he speech is nice.. but as usual gurmit singh is an ass.. no reason for me to hate him.. but i do, after wat he did to me dad and bro..

u give me happiness, and the next u make me wonder, and then u give back the happiness..
"a girl won jus let any guy hold her hand" how true.. but thank u.. though sometimes i get confused bout wat u tink.. k i shant say too much here.. i'm blur... but i tink we really need to sit and talk and be completely honest with each other yea? i don blame u.. but r u really tryin to rid me?

very tired now.. quite sad... but i'm sure u'll make it ok..

29 March 2005

2005-03-29T22:05:00.000-08:00

hmm.. today was still abit weird. but better.. at least we spoke.. i hope she's feeling better now.. and pls.. arg.. cant say anything here.. heheh.. but the msg meant alot and all..yea and pls don dao me hehe..

don disturb joshee anymore guys, its not wat it looks like. CO is still retarded but wat to do no choice.. left my bag in the class. how dumb is that... came home without bag, so weird.. hope the cleaner din throw it by tomorrow manz.. was gonna climb in but joshua accidentally closed the window.. haha...

robyn chill yea? we're all her for u if u need us in anything.. take care sis..

28 March 2005

2005-03-28T16:00:00.000-08:00

no messges, no phone call, no talking.. nothing.. feels so weird although its onli 2 days... but its the first time in 3 months.. went straight home for the first time this yr.. see her in the canteen, she pretends she din see me, or so i think.. sees me in the library and walks past me.. or so i think.. i haf no idea wat happen.. jus wanna say i'm sorry if i did anything wrong unknowingly.... she's fails to call me when she knows i always wait.. she goes to visit him.. but thats okay, he's a friend.. she messages him and avoids me.. why? tell me if i did something wrong.. this silence is too much too bear...

should i give up, or again am i thinking too much? help me someone..

sad

2005-03-26T22:15:00.000-08:00

you stand there hiding your pain,

i am here with my head down,

you are quiet,

and so am i,

who will explain to each other,

now the distances are too great,

to even face each other,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow.

yes it is true i am hurt,

but i have thought of this,

why does my heart break,

why are my eyes tearing,

what happened had to happen.

now let it go,

the memories of it,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow.

all the time,

live to the fullest,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow

a thought

2005-03-26T16:15:00.000-08:00

who is this you are waiting for,

i am here now.

look towards me once,

i am here now.

why are u quiet,

say whatever you want to,

how much your heart wishes for,

ask for as much love,

and you will receive that much love,

i am here now.

for have you ever thought,

and have you ever seen,

how much i love you.

then please dont keep quiet,

and please tell me,

can anyone love you the way i do.

not just my heart,

i can even smile,

and give my life for you,

all you have to do is ask,

i am here now.

if there is anything in your heart,

please tell me,

whether it is day or night,

i am here now.

if any difficulties or problems mount on you,

or if you dont feel comfortable about things happening,

please tell me.

if you have any wishes or requests,

dont leave it untold,

dont feel unhappy about it,

i am here now

who is this you are waiting for,

i am here now.

look towards me once,

i am here now.

why are you quiet,

say whatever you want to,

how much your heart wishes for,

ask for as much love,

and you will receive that much love,

i am here now.

26 March 2005

2005-03-26T15:50:00.000-08:00

to all those who have not received a call, pls dont worry.. there's still monday and tuesday.. guys, trust me i know how it feels... waiting and waiting.. but life goes on, and this is onli one hurdle.. many more to come in life.. if u don make it back to AC jus do well wherever u go k? i mean if u told me this a few days ago, i wouldn have understood but u'll soon come to get used to it..

today had CO, have to be real committed to it, indebted really.. but practices on tuesdays from 4 30 to 8? wow massive man..syf comin up...no mood to study these past few weeks but i know i've got to start soon.. AC has so many 6 pointers, how? how? all u raffles ppl get out of my sight...

why is it that when u smile, i smile. when u cry, i cry.. why? why doesn a day go where i don feel comfortable if i don talk to u? wat is happening? why is it sometimes i get jealous, i enjoy reading ur messages, they make me smile.. i love going out with u, it makes my mind relax.. i enjoy talking to u, it distracts me from the cruel reality of this world.. why? why? why do i enjoy it when u disturb me and yet sometimes i mind.. wats happening.. wat is happening?

when anything goes wrong,

when i face difficulties,

please give me your support,

my beloved one.

there was no one,

there is no one,

in my life besides you,

always stand by me,

my beloved one.

25 March 2005

2005-03-25T15:15:00.000-08:00

blogging after quite long...cant seem to find time..dad says i'm not spending enough family time..oops... MADE IT BACK TO ACJC... thank god thanks mum thanks dad and thanks to all me friends.. u guys are special to me.. all the girls watch out yea, i'm back..

robyn thanks for listening out to me, u really r like a sis to me now...

i'm so sad that terry couldn make it back.. its not over though we'll keep fighting for u yea bro? relax k... i hated tampines so much.. boy i'm sure am bias cos changing school from ac is jus weird.. 12 yrs manzz..

wonder if i get to stay in the same class.. hmm. i'll be so committed to CO now..thanks colin

joyce:thanks for always being there.. i really am sorry if i've been acting strangely abt u and u know who k.. its jus.. man u know how i feel.. u r someone so close to me i cant believe i've onli known u 3 months... boy there's so much i wanna tell u but i cant say it.. can type it but not here... will write to u soon again.. sorry if u ger so bored..

once again thanks everyone.. joyce, robyn etc..

22 March 2005

2005-03-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

right, basically the past few days have been so screwed.. happiness and more sadness at the same time..

posted to Tampines JC i mean how screwed is that? i know i wont get back to AC and i'm gonna kill myself.. 3 places for CO? cmon u guys r pathetic..... cut off 8 points.. retarded dragon year....

and then there's this other thing which of course i wont tell anyone.. actually i think its a stupid reason but i cant help but wonder.. arg.... stupid system....why do i think so much? why?

2005-03-20T12:55:00.000-08:00

all the time,

the world is changing.

sometimes sunshine,

sometimes rain.

all the time,

live to the fullest,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow.

the person who loves you with all his heart,

is indeed very difficult to find,

if there ever is someone,

he is the most worthy of your love.

that hand is for you to hold,

he'll be most thankful to you,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow.

take this moment,

and come close to me.

no matter how much i control this crazy heart,

it just keeps beating in your name.

but think about this,

what if the time now,

lives forever,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow.

all the time,

the world is changing.

sometimes sunshine,

sometimes rain.

all the time,

live to the fullest,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow.

a thought

2005-03-19T22:05:00.000-08:00

you come near,

and smile that smile,

you dont know what dreams you give me.

and now my heart,

cant wake nor sleep,

what can i do,

i'm falling in love.

i dont know what feeling this is,

it doesn't go away.

what has your love done to me,

it follows me like a shadow.

nobody knows,

why this is happening

what can i do,

i'm falling in love.

what colours have my l0ve brought,

i dont know how i fell in love.

why is it that in anxious times,

i dont feel anxious.

in my loneliness,

only u are in my memories,

what can i do,

i'm falling in love.

u come near,

and smile that smile,

you dont know what dreams you give me,

and now my heart,

cant wake nor sleep,

what can i do,

i'm falling in love.

19 March 2005

2005-03-19T21:12:00.000-08:00

okay i guess everything is okay now... i donno.. maybe i did over react. i don usually apologise unless i know i've done wrong but why did i today.. was i stooping down.. maybe... but i guess sometimes to save something u gotta do something u don really wanna do for the sake of everyone yea..

"do u prefer black/white or greyish" something liddat.. i thought my lit was good but i coudn really interpret that... wow and joshua did.. i wonder if she asked that for a reason..
u say he hit the nail.. i'm still trying to figure out but i think i know wat it is..

yeapzz, joyce ur blog is nice now, simple and nice.. robyn, thanks for the blog thing but u still gotta help me out in alot of stuff....

joyce wat did u jus do, why did u show me that..yeeeeee!!!!!!!!! man he really looks like somegirl la.. as joey would say "how ya doin"

so i guess this wraps up the day.. hope things stay normal.. no more complications please

19th March 2005

2005-03-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

today was quite a bad day....so far at least. as i predicted we couldn face each other.. maybe its jus me but i think he completely ignored me today or something.. woke up late, rushed for co, sorry mum, spoilt ur sleep cos u had ta drop me to school...

as usual co was stupid, but i really hope i can stay in AC.. now that posting is tues... less time to enjoy....

he says "tell me everything, cos i don wanna be kept in the dark, be honest so i know wat to do"
i say "ok"
when i do that he says "i'm not interested in wat u do, next time dont tell me anything"
i mean wat is he getting at..he's acting as though i'm wrong.. maybe i am but hey no one person i right is any situation.. when u wan something u come to me, yet when u wanna get pissed or vent out something u choose me.. enough ok enough i mean are u using me? i have a life too man give me a break... telling others that i talk alot of crap.. look at urself man.. i aint sayin anything to u but i hate backstabbers and the day i find out wat ur intentions r u better watch out... am i being used? or am i jus over reacting? i donno..

anyway i'd like to thank this special someone, she's always there when i need help, make me realise things and all.. thanks alot...

i hope the week ahead is better

18 March 2005

2005-03-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

woke up to disaster today.. finally got to catch up with some sleep and then whammm before u know it everything is flying at ur face.. 9 30 is a record.. felt lively..

i made the biggest blunder ever manz. sent the msg to the wrong person.. u don know how many ppl i could have dragged down.. ouch.. i'm glad its all okay now.. man i wld have gone all the way to bishan to settle this.. i'm really sorry robyn, and especially sorry to u shuhan, i've done it again.. sorry... thanks u guys for not blaming me.. i would have really cried like hell if i was the cause of something terrible here.. well, glad theres trust and faith and all.. but honestly i may have reacted the same way...

so basically i'm still feelin quite weird now for how i'm gonna face them ever.. but u gotta do wat u gotta do.. heh..

thanks for being there joyce,ur always there, i really appreciate it.. robyn u too... for not killin me and sparin a thought for the millions and the millions of my female fans.. hehe.. oops..

girls gossiping.. dangerous manz.. jealousy.. shant continue..

and yea thanks robyn for helpin me out with the blog thingy..

once again sorry ppl... jus to let ya know i'll always be here for ya all...

17th March 2005

2005-03-17T22:01:00.000-08:00

today was so wonderful.. ok till abt 9pm.. yea. suppose to have woken up at night but eyes opened at 7 30.. excitement? i guess so...

ok so i watched 2 movies, hitch and robots.. shld have taken a notebook with me for hitch.. how useful.. will smith rocks... robots has a dumb storyline but who cares its still so funny.... went shopping for a while after that, cant believe i did that and i actually had fun.. i mean camon shoppin...... girl thing man.... had lotsa fun, gotta spend some one on one quality time with her and i hope she enjoyed too, though i could tell she was beginning to feel, i donno, better not say... haiz....

had dinner with family after a long while.. swensons.. ahhhh imagine the giant earthquake, all by urself..... man oh man...... then came the msg.. began to feel worried.. began to feel weird abt wat i was doing.. whether i was hurting her or something.. but then came reassurance and everything went back to normal.. so i guess emotions are funny but in the end wat happens jus happens for the best, for a reason...

Wednesday, March 16

2005-03-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

i jus created a blog.. how weird is that.. oh man wats happening.. too much influence..

ok hi, i'm abhishek, in case u don know.. basically i'm a nice guy.. i mean i can be an idiot but yea i'm a nice guy..

wednesday, mid week mid hols, how fun goin for CO the whole day.. retarded like anything, playin the same thing for 9 hrs.. arghh i guess u gotta do wat u gotta do if u wanna stay in ACJC.. the best school.. hahazz..

girls, i know i'm so gd looking and u all want to go out with me, but sorry i already like this girl who probably doesn even lay her eyes on me.. well at least thats wat i think..

but gettin back to today, i heard there's gonna be auditions to get to AC if i appeal thru CO.. so dead.. anyway maybe 9 hrs of shenging got to my head and i really pissed my best fren off. i hope he's okay now.. sorry once again.. hehe..

tomorrow can slack finally, hope she goes out wif me.. haha..

all the time the world is changing,

sometimes sunshine sometimes rain,

whatever the time is now,

live to the fullest,

for who knows,

there may be no tomorrow

my thoughts.. trademark..